Scottish Friends

A sip, you say? A sip? A sip?

For breaking up with that old shit,

Who never let you go around,

Feeling youthful in the town?


A glass of wine, a glass, a glass?

To celebrate that exam pass

You worked your arse off to acquire,

And rightful lights your pride on fire?


A bottle you say, a bottle only?

When you no longer do feel lonely?

Though you’re clad in dress and heel,

To celebrate that new sales deal?


A water, are you kidding me?

You’ll truly drink that cup of tea?

We’re in our thirties are we not,

Or laying in our graves to rot?


A gin and tonic, surely yes?

Or from your youth do you digress?

For we are young still, yes, not old?

There’s rampant stories be told.


A cup of coffee, did you say?

My God this is a boring day,

Why don’t you sing and dance and whirl,

I thought you were a Scottish girl!